Scrolling through my Facebook news feed, it looks like Malaysia’s all-time sweetheart singer is the bearer of wonderful news!
After years and years of trying to conceive, she is finally pregnant! Four months, to be exact.
Hopeful news for many couples.
Guess who else is 4 months preggers…………
Yes, me. 🙂 Alhamdulillah.
I’m hardly stealing the thunder here, I mean, we’re talking about Siti Nurhaliza vs Nadia Azmi. LOL.
P/s…Know who else is pregnant and possibly at the same stretch of pregnancy? Kate Middleton! Hehe.
So yes, I am now 17+ weeks pregnant and we have 90% confirmed the gender!!!!!! I am remaining tight-lipped on that one until it’s completely definitive on our next check-up.
Just like with my last pregnancy with Princess N, I had to troop through my first trimester with daily nauseousness, constantly feeling the urge to slap my head on a pillow. I am so grateful I had a tonne of help to care for Princess N during my pregnancy sickness days. I couldn’t have done it alone. (Make sure you always get support, Moms!)
The sickness has subsided and I’m feeling more like my old self —- minus the bloating and constant need to pee, which is inevitable during pregnancy and will probably last til the day I give birth. Hehe.
So how’s it like being pregnant for the second time? Here’s a list:
Is it TOO soon??!
I’ve always known that I wanted to try for a second child, but I never knew exactly when and for how long I would wait after the birth of my first child. I told myself that my instincts (and brain! lol) will be able to tell my body, “It’s time” when it’s time.
After Princess N turned One, I still wasn’t sure.
Fast forward six months, I suddenly felt charged and READY!
Sounds like I’m prepping for a 20km marathon run, but no, this is for a second roller coaster ride of being a parent while caring for a toddler. It does sound daunting.
Feeling ready to try again is one thing, but I also had to prepare for the wait that comes after that. You never know how long it’ll take. I always believe God knows when you’re truly ready. It took several months for me to conceive Princess N, and as every pregnancy is different, I was in the dark with the second try too.
Whatever it is, once you’re trying, it could happen any time. So be prepared.
*Non-paid iklan jap*
During my first pregnancy, I found a mobile app called Ovia Fertility Period Tracker which helped track my period cycle, fertile days, etc. I recommend women who are trying to get pregnant to download this app, especially in keeping tabs on the best days to try for a baby – the fertile window!
Then when you’re pregnant (yayy!), there’s Ovia Pregnancy which tracks how far along you are in your pregnancy, the estimated size of your baby, body changes, what you should eat, etc etc etc. It give great tips and advice in a jiffy. It’s awesome.
Then after having the baby, there’s Ovia Parenting. It will tell you what to expect in terms of your child’s growth and development according to age.
Since we’re always on our mobile anyway, these apps are so useful and informative.
Okay, so back to my story – trying for a second baby.
Little did we know, it wouldn’t take very long for me to feel the need to use a pregnancy stick.
My menses did not arrive so when I was late for about a week, I tried the test kit. But it was negative. I was a little bit disappointed but I will accept whatever the result is. It was possible that I was just late, or that it was too early to test for pregnancy even if I had conceived. It takes time for the hormone to indicate a positive pregnancy even after conception. I hadn’t shown any symptoms, so I wasn’t sure.
I can’t remember how long after the first test that I tried again. I had two test kits, one of which I had utilized and the other which I totally nullified and damaged. Don’t ask how. Haha.
Since I was out of kits and didn’t make any trips to the pharmacy, it was a while until I tested again. I still hadn’t gotten my menses so I really needed to buy one, stat.
I got myself a new one and it read positive.
According to the due date calendar (which you can just Google) I was already 6 weeks pregnant. I did my math and calculated that by the time my second baby arrives, Princess N would have just turned 2.
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I wanted to make sure that it was not clinically too soon for me to have a second baby. My gynecologist assured me it wasn’t too soon and moreover, my first pregnancy was smooth sailing. I am hoping for the same with this one. Let’s keep a positive mindset.
That’s what I did with my first pregnancy and even before getting pregnant. I refrained from listening or reading about terrifying events and nonsensical advice when it comes to pregnancy. Despite the immense pain, pregnancy and giving birth should be perceived as a beautiful and natural journey, designed to happen.
Why did I suddenly feel ready?
Looking at other parents with multiple kids gives you the motivation and courage that you can do the same. Honestly, I was afraid of being judged if some people did consider my second pregnancy as ‘too soon’ and that I’m not a well-versed parent. But know what? I’ve only received positive and warm reactions. Parenting will always be a learning curve and I don’t think anyone is the ‘perfect’ parent. As long as we don’t make reckless decisions or put our children at harm, we’re doing something right.
Another reason why I felt it was the right time, was so that I could give Princess N a younger sibling, with a small age gap. I know how it’s like having a sibling not too far younger from you. While you fight a whole lot, you grow up to be best friends because your interests and mindset run parallel.
The challenge I foresee, is having two small kids at one time. More tantrums, more crying and more diapers. But we’ll make it work!
More importantly, before you even start trying, make sure you discuss the topic with your spouse. Are you ready mentally, emotionally and financially? Are you aware of the possible sacrifices that may need to be put in place in the future? When these boxes are ticked, you could be ready. 😉
Is the excitement the same?
Excited? Of course! But I guess when you’ve already experienced it once, you already know what to expect in the different phases of pregnancy. Some things could differ, but will mostly be familiar.
You kind of feel like a pro parent, and feel like putting on shades while striding in a ‘cool’ fashion.
I could say the headache is less though, in terms of buying baby equipment because
1) we already know what we need and
2) most of the gear that we do need, we have already!
I guess in my case, the only difference would be buying baby clothes………… *hint hint*
There is some truth to feeling like a ‘pro’ (as mentioned above), because you’re able to manage your pregnancy better, since you know what’s to anticipate. It doesn’t just apply to the women, but also to their husbands.
The degree of excitement is different, but definitely still excited. 🙂 Our lives are about to change once again.
More tired than ever
Although we’re able to cope better during a second round of pregnancy, it’s definitely harder (and wayyy different) when you have a toddler at the same time. It’s more tiring. Life gets more demanding. That’s why getting the help you need is substantial. In times when there is no extra hand, I urge all moms to stay strong, steadfast and sane. Think about your toddler and the little one on the way. It’s all for them.
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Finally, after months and months, with this entry, I have gained the inspiration to pen down my thoughts.
I was slightly reserved whether to ‘announce’ our big news or to just go with the flow, but this blog was created with the intention to help, support and inspire other moms, moms-to-be and women who aspire to be a mother. Platforms like this have certainly helped shape the way I think about motherhood, when reading the experiences of others. It is not to put any type of pressure on other couples, because HOPE is always clinging on tight.